Something about wearing a black smock and walking across the stage is really, really scary. Something about the symbolism of moving your tassel from the left to the right (or the right to the left?) is too much for me to handle. Something about knowing that, in just over a week, I will have moved back home and feel like I am right where I started four years ago is so bizarre.
I have received four letters that all tell me that people are inspired by me. It is so strange that I am that person. There are so many people who are older than me who were my inspiration. They were the reason that I wanted to grow and become a better person. I can't believe that I am that person to people younger than me, and even people who are graduating with me. I feel very lucky to be so valued and am so sad that it took me graduating to find out. This, of course, reminds me how important it is to share my thoughts with the people who inspire me.
My roommate just shut her car door outside and she just finished celebrating her graduation. Clearly, she made it out alive. I don't know why I'm so afraid of this. It's nothing that I haven't done before - in fact, I did it almost exactly four years ago. I put on a robe, sit in a chair, walk up a ramp, shake the hand of some guy I've never met before and likely have no idea who they are, and then go sit back down.
The action isn't scary, but the symbolism means everything.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Letter from the past
February 2, 2010
Dear Kim,
When you receive this letter, you will be on the eve of your graduation from college. Right now, I am exhausted and terrified of what the next 14 plus or minus weeks have to offer. Right now, I am concerned that I will not have a "real" job by May. Right now, I am afraid of both of my parents being together in the same room. Right now, I am single.
I have so many hopes for what you will be in May. In May, I hope you are exhausted still, because you had a memorable and successful semester. In May, I hope you will have figured out your next step in your future career, although you probably haven't actually figured it out yet. In May, I hope you have healed from your paternal drama and will let go soon. In May, I hope you are happy with who you are, REGARDLESS of relationship status (but a boy would be nice).
Most of all, I hope you have not forgotten how to smile.
Love,
Yourself
Dear Kim,
When you receive this letter, you will be on the eve of your graduation from college. Right now, I am exhausted and terrified of what the next 14 plus or minus weeks have to offer. Right now, I am concerned that I will not have a "real" job by May. Right now, I am afraid of both of my parents being together in the same room. Right now, I am single.
I have so many hopes for what you will be in May. In May, I hope you are exhausted still, because you had a memorable and successful semester. In May, I hope you will have figured out your next step in your future career, although you probably haven't actually figured it out yet. In May, I hope you have healed from your paternal drama and will let go soon. In May, I hope you are happy with who you are, REGARDLESS of relationship status (but a boy would be nice).
Most of all, I hope you have not forgotten how to smile.
Love,
Yourself
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